Finally

*sigh*

I get to perform.
In front of people
On a stage.
And it's singing.

Finally.

It has been too long, and I need this so bad.

Cant Do Anything Right!!!!!

I'm sitting at work right now in the light booth. Tonight was the first night that I have been trusted to do something completely by myself, which is long overdue, and much appreciated. I've been looking forward to running this all day because I thought of it as a chance to prove that I dont always do things wrong, which is a common occurance with me and work.
But alas, I get here and start up the board, and 2 of the 3 groups of fixtures aren't working. I end up having to call my boss (who understandably didn't answer) and my other supervisor to try to fix the problem because I dont know enough about the board to fix it. And despite my efforts, things still arent working and people are complaining.
This wouldn't bother me so much if I felt like I did things right on a regular basis. I feel like since I've worked here, if I didn't understand how to do something, someone else would do it for me. And I think the guys do it unconsciously because I'm a girl and for a long time I was the only girl on the crew.
I dont know...I'm just frustrated and I feel like I should be fired but on the other hand, I just feel like I need to be trusted with more things so I can learn instead of constantly having to try to prove myself worthy of being trusted. The reason I can't do things is because other people would always jump in and do it for me. And therefore, I feel like that because I'm now 'higher up' in my crew, I have to work three times as hard as the guys to prove myself worthy of the promotion and of responsiblity.
Ugh. I just want to do something right at work for once.