New thought

I discovered something last night.

I've tried to make people most important to me. Basically my whole life, I have put others before myself. Even if my actions didn't show it immediately to those people, in my mind and in my own way, everyone else has been more important. This is obviously flawed. I can't care that much.

I also realized that one of the many many reasons all this is so hard for me is that it seems as though everyone has someone who puts them first, who thinks they are 'most important'. I don't have someone who thinks I'm THE most important person. I know I'm very important to some people, but I share that post with others or there's someone who's just a little more important than me. I went from being most important to someone to just being lost in the mix.

Don't get me wrong, I don't 'need a man' in my life. At least not now. It would just be nice to have someone that thinks I'm most important. I guess eventually it will happen, but it was already SUPPOSED to have happened and it's a pretty lonely road in the meantime.

I literally feel like someone took me on a ride in a limo for most of my life; whether it be my parents, boyfriends in the past, friends, or Christ, especially in those bumps in the road. I've sat back and enjoyed most of the time. Now, I feel like I've been dropped off in the middle of nowhere in the dark. I need to find something solid to lean against until the light comes back...